It has been a long time I read Saturday punch.If my friend had not brought it to my house,I guess I wouldn't read it in a longer time.
Way back in school,I developed the habit of going to the vendor's shack to read what my favorite columnists have written about the state of my darling nation.I usually pay a token to read the headlines or sometimes get a copy of the most widely read newspaper in Nigeria.
But not anymore after my graduation from school,I discovered that my likeness for this juicy column had dropped.I thought at first it was my financial power that was controlling my level of addiction.But I was wrong.
Though,I hardly make a dollar a day but I am so sure it is not the reason why I would not read Saturday Punch,which cost almost a dollar both in the bank or my favorite Aboki's bureau de change spot.
My reason is that I am not secured right from the vendor's place,which is usually located at popular junctions and bus-stops.Most times,when I want to read the headline or just buy my paper quietly and go home to have a quiet reading,some little gist that will end up in argument usually filter in.Of course,the effect of this argument is a slight headache which disturb the brain from getting the innermost emotion the writer wants the readers to get.
This keeps me wondering if readers get the same meaning to a particular sentence.If they do,then an argument can be averted and common grounds can be built.After all,that is the reason why we read books or is there something else people read that I do not read in a book?
Bukola Olabikan's Social Etiquette column can help us write out the social etiquette that we should apply when reading or discussing a book.This will reduce to a large extent,the rate at which noise pollution is created at the vendor's shack.If she fails to get the right essay for that,I will have to turn to Dr. Ona Red Alert for tips on buying a Saturday punch with a paracetamol(as a reading relief pill).
Ada Onyema will definitely not see paracetamol as an option for a man who wants to be In Vogue.So also is my Dear Kemi,who will not like to introduce a drug addict on her life partner's column but will admit that Ayo Arowolo's Billionaire Capsule are very essential for everyone who loves to get a Patience Akpan-Obong"s Medal in Elizabeth Badejo's Dream Wedding and Funmi Akingbade's sex and sexuality.
I know Comfort Oseghale's Youngsters will laugh at my style of writing till they forget the Giggle.But I am sure,some won't.They will link my like to MI(Mr. Incredible),who made his most populous single "safe" by mixing almost all the great lyrics available at the time of the release of his single.They will wish I grant Nonye Ben-Nwankwo's Saturday life and Beat interview or be the next topic Adunnibabe will write on next Saturday.
Whichever way,I am ready to absorb all the tips Adekunle Salami's Sport Slam will offer an aspiring columnist like me.Knowing that it is not only in sports that team work is needed.It is also needed in Vincent Akanmode's Weekend Flakes. A Flake that can provide me with a great opportunity that I won't refuse to be a part of.
A flake that will ensure I have a big stomach where my Saturday punch can rest on while I read it safely and quietly.
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