HOT SEAT

Joblessness brings its own tag. Many people call jobless people names they are not. Last night, my neighbour called me a dull head. To prove to him that I am not, I put in for a show called who wants to be a comedian? Instead of finding my way to the show, I found my way to this dramatic show. Here are some of the questions I was asked.

1. Which of the following actions will you take if you were a suicide bomber on a mission and you see a plane carrying the learner sign? You will
A. Continue with the mission without the bomb
B. Go back home and see it as a mission about to be accomplished
C. Drop your bomb and watch on T.V a twin suicide bombing
D. Drop the board and go in with your bomb
This question goes for a 150,000 Naira prize. So, I sat tight and brainstorm what the answer will be. I was told that the answer must be the same as what the organizer of the show had already picked and that it must be witty.
I am not a suicide bomber and never plan to be one. So answering this question of course is a difficult one. I brainstormed and the results of my thoughts are
If I went for option B, I knew it won’t be right. A suicide bomber will like to die. He is not an air raider that drops bomb on city in the name of been patriotic and watches his action on screen.

I won’t let myself be tricked with option A. The counter terrorist unit, FBI and CIA might have got a tip and use the learner sign as a decoy.
I spent most of my time thinking between option C and D. But I remembered the rule that says my answer must be witty. So, I chose D. It will be wise to drop the learner sign. This will reduce panic and increase the number of people to be bombed.
I got the answer right to my surprise. This made me feel as if I was in a Terrorist training camp answering some questions.
The next question came and it was a question from the past. I was not scared but hope I will be able to answer it correctly.

Q.2 what if Hitler had not died? The world would have
A. Been His
B. Empty
C. Better
D. The way it is now
I drop the possibility of picking option A. It contradicts the belief of many who believe in the existence of God. I assumed the organizers of the show also believe in God. In God will trust was written on the wall of the room where I was kept before the audition. If they do, it will be unwise for me to choose option A. As it will contradict my belief of God created the Heaven and the Earth.
The moderator or quiz master asked me if I wanted to use any of my lifelines. I told him no and went on to consider option B. The advance research in Science and technology of bomb making makes me feel option B will be an option to consider but I didn’t chose it rather I went for D.
“Is that your final answer”, he asked in a confusing tone.
“Yes, it is” I replied with a less confident voice. The thought of losing all the money I have earned baffled me but I was determined to take a risk. This risk will earn me a hundred and fifty thousand naira more.
“You are absolutely right” he shouted.
I shook hand with the moderator and he asked me why I had gone for D.
“Killings, oppression and avoidable conflict are been reported every day in the news. So it is not changing anything. It is just the same only that it is not done by one man but many, who feel they have the power to change the world”
When he asked the third question which will make me earns five hundred thousand naira and will put me on a guarantee level. I was again left speechless despite the fact that it is a question concerning my nation, Nigeria.

Q3. If there was no economic recession, the corrupt public servant will be
A. Mad by now
B. Poor by now
C. Remain the same
D. All live in EFCC custody
I looked at all the option and felt the safest way will be to ask you the audience. What will you go for and why? I will not like to lose my money as there is no option of walking away