I had this feeling there is a little talent in everyone of us...I found the part i kept my poems and decided to flaunt it....happy reading.
POETRY
Poetry is not paltry, it is a battery
That halts more and not cut
When written within and spoken without fear but bravery
Emotions set in and the cult’s hut is hurt.
Poetry rakes their sakes in lakes of mockery
And wake them in a nursery of fake gut
With no sun to bake more cake of forgery
They gather under the general’s cap and laugh at what politics shut.
FOOTPRINTS
I raised my head up from down to see what is most vital of the trio.
My face, my name or my footprint.
With a blank face filled with low ink of confidence
A thought flew in. I must write to be right; I must write history on a blank face.
For with faces come differentiation and integration, race and trace of religion that defines man.
With a name so long and many
My ink flows with low waves of tiny, tidy tides to choose from.
For with names come association and discrimination, fame and game that separate man.
With a footprint and little ink of confidence that can’t be tamed
I hope my footprint stamp a light that shine better than a lamp
For a footprint brings recognition, that can stand the time test.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Monday, October 4, 2010
HOT SEAT
Joblessness brings its own tag. Many people call jobless people names they are not. Last night, my neighbour called me a dull head. To prove to him that I am not, I put in for a show called who wants to be a comedian? Instead of finding my way to the show, I found my way to this dramatic show. Here are some of the questions I was asked.
1. Which of the following actions will you take if you were a suicide bomber on a mission and you see a plane carrying the learner sign? You will
A. Continue with the mission without the bomb
B. Go back home and see it as a mission about to be accomplished
C. Drop your bomb and watch on T.V a twin suicide bombing
D. Drop the board and go in with your bomb
This question goes for a 150,000 Naira prize. So, I sat tight and brainstorm what the answer will be. I was told that the answer must be the same as what the organizer of the show had already picked and that it must be witty.
I am not a suicide bomber and never plan to be one. So answering this question of course is a difficult one. I brainstormed and the results of my thoughts are
If I went for option B, I knew it won’t be right. A suicide bomber will like to die. He is not an air raider that drops bomb on city in the name of been patriotic and watches his action on screen.
I won’t let myself be tricked with option A. The counter terrorist unit, FBI and CIA might have got a tip and use the learner sign as a decoy.
I spent most of my time thinking between option C and D. But I remembered the rule that says my answer must be witty. So, I chose D. It will be wise to drop the learner sign. This will reduce panic and increase the number of people to be bombed.
I got the answer right to my surprise. This made me feel as if I was in a Terrorist training camp answering some questions.
The next question came and it was a question from the past. I was not scared but hope I will be able to answer it correctly.
Q.2 what if Hitler had not died? The world would have
A. Been His
B. Empty
C. Better
D. The way it is now
I drop the possibility of picking option A. It contradicts the belief of many who believe in the existence of God. I assumed the organizers of the show also believe in God. In God will trust was written on the wall of the room where I was kept before the audition. If they do, it will be unwise for me to choose option A. As it will contradict my belief of God created the Heaven and the Earth.
The moderator or quiz master asked me if I wanted to use any of my lifelines. I told him no and went on to consider option B. The advance research in Science and technology of bomb making makes me feel option B will be an option to consider but I didn’t chose it rather I went for D.
“Is that your final answer”, he asked in a confusing tone.
“Yes, it is” I replied with a less confident voice. The thought of losing all the money I have earned baffled me but I was determined to take a risk. This risk will earn me a hundred and fifty thousand naira more.
“You are absolutely right” he shouted.
I shook hand with the moderator and he asked me why I had gone for D.
“Killings, oppression and avoidable conflict are been reported every day in the news. So it is not changing anything. It is just the same only that it is not done by one man but many, who feel they have the power to change the world”
When he asked the third question which will make me earns five hundred thousand naira and will put me on a guarantee level. I was again left speechless despite the fact that it is a question concerning my nation, Nigeria.
Q3. If there was no economic recession, the corrupt public servant will be
A. Mad by now
B. Poor by now
C. Remain the same
D. All live in EFCC custody
I looked at all the option and felt the safest way will be to ask you the audience. What will you go for and why? I will not like to lose my money as there is no option of walking away
1. Which of the following actions will you take if you were a suicide bomber on a mission and you see a plane carrying the learner sign? You will
A. Continue with the mission without the bomb
B. Go back home and see it as a mission about to be accomplished
C. Drop your bomb and watch on T.V a twin suicide bombing
D. Drop the board and go in with your bomb
This question goes for a 150,000 Naira prize. So, I sat tight and brainstorm what the answer will be. I was told that the answer must be the same as what the organizer of the show had already picked and that it must be witty.
I am not a suicide bomber and never plan to be one. So answering this question of course is a difficult one. I brainstormed and the results of my thoughts are
If I went for option B, I knew it won’t be right. A suicide bomber will like to die. He is not an air raider that drops bomb on city in the name of been patriotic and watches his action on screen.
I won’t let myself be tricked with option A. The counter terrorist unit, FBI and CIA might have got a tip and use the learner sign as a decoy.
I spent most of my time thinking between option C and D. But I remembered the rule that says my answer must be witty. So, I chose D. It will be wise to drop the learner sign. This will reduce panic and increase the number of people to be bombed.
I got the answer right to my surprise. This made me feel as if I was in a Terrorist training camp answering some questions.
The next question came and it was a question from the past. I was not scared but hope I will be able to answer it correctly.
Q.2 what if Hitler had not died? The world would have
A. Been His
B. Empty
C. Better
D. The way it is now
I drop the possibility of picking option A. It contradicts the belief of many who believe in the existence of God. I assumed the organizers of the show also believe in God. In God will trust was written on the wall of the room where I was kept before the audition. If they do, it will be unwise for me to choose option A. As it will contradict my belief of God created the Heaven and the Earth.
The moderator or quiz master asked me if I wanted to use any of my lifelines. I told him no and went on to consider option B. The advance research in Science and technology of bomb making makes me feel option B will be an option to consider but I didn’t chose it rather I went for D.
“Is that your final answer”, he asked in a confusing tone.
“Yes, it is” I replied with a less confident voice. The thought of losing all the money I have earned baffled me but I was determined to take a risk. This risk will earn me a hundred and fifty thousand naira more.
“You are absolutely right” he shouted.
I shook hand with the moderator and he asked me why I had gone for D.
“Killings, oppression and avoidable conflict are been reported every day in the news. So it is not changing anything. It is just the same only that it is not done by one man but many, who feel they have the power to change the world”
When he asked the third question which will make me earns five hundred thousand naira and will put me on a guarantee level. I was again left speechless despite the fact that it is a question concerning my nation, Nigeria.
Q3. If there was no economic recession, the corrupt public servant will be
A. Mad by now
B. Poor by now
C. Remain the same
D. All live in EFCC custody
I looked at all the option and felt the safest way will be to ask you the audience. What will you go for and why? I will not like to lose my money as there is no option of walking away
LETTER TO LATE PRESIDENT YARADUA
I would not have thought of writing a tribute to the dead if I have not seen the unofficial two thousand naira note posted by a friend on face book. The creative note has on it the picture of the late Nigerian president Yaradua and the Nigerian pop singer, the late CEO Dagrin.
My avaricious nature threw me off balance on seeing what looks like a two hundred naira note but with an additional zero written behind the normal two zeroes that are universally accepted to come with anything hundred. Thinking that I will win this unofficial note, I came up with a tribute for the dead regardless of how the dead will feel.
Long before now, I am always afraid the dead will strike back when I speaks ill of them. Thanks to PHCN, the Nigerian electric power company, they made my fear real by switching on and off the light without warning. This makes me think every time that the dead are at work and will scare me with the light as I see in scary movies. Right now, the note is on my mind and not the ghost. So here is my short note to the dead.
Hello Dead ones,
You have just set a record of fulfilling the most feared characteristics of a living thing. Something I do not want to do right now. It is only pathetic to know that the CEO skipped reproduction before death.He refused to deposit his gonad hormone into the museum of continuity. CEO, do not be scared, we have a lot of people here who will not waste their talent in reproduction. Be rest assured. Please go to Fela's self-contain and make collaboration with him. The music must enlighten the global dead about our roads and the danger of plying it. Let them know that we, the living youth especially the hustlers among us, are only lucky in getting extra grace from God, if not we will have been there with them.
My Late President, relate with dead Nigerians out there. Grant them amnesty so that they can have a second chance to truly show the global dead that talents waste in the country you once ruled. I know you are not used to taking orders since you became the president in 2007.It is protocol and not you that made that happened and that was evident in the last few days you spent with us here in the land of the living. They transported you from Saudi back home without your orders. They made you take their orders somehow .Please tell your brother and his SDP friend about this.
One other thing I want you to tell them is the utterance of a man who feels he is too old among the living Nigerians. He said the youth have nothing to offer and yet they offer him peace. Can you please in your humble position request him to see you for a cup of tea? Oh...i remember there is one more thing I really want you to hold on to. The people who ordered six thousand policemen to guide a judgment did not find it deem to do the same for you when you came back from Saudi. Maybe they feel the living has more to spend than the sick who believe too much in the rule of law...I wouldn't know.
Make sure you ask Pa T.M Aluko to proof read your speech before delivering your welcome speech. My reason is clear, if you give it to a journalist, he won't elaborate it. He is used to writing in a small limited space and you won't be able to express your annoyance but writers will embelish every thought of yours with suitable figure of speech. He is used to expanding one sentence into a whole book. So take your time and do not bother responding to this note. There is no psychic here that can receive or read that which you will like to say. Just keep it till the day when every man will respond to the trumpet. A day every man will explain their role concerning your death. That day will be sooner or later. On that day, every man will account for himself and Pa Aluko will be glad to have titled a book that will be similar to the title of the day.ONE MAN,ONE DEATH AND ONE JUDGEMENT.
My avaricious nature threw me off balance on seeing what looks like a two hundred naira note but with an additional zero written behind the normal two zeroes that are universally accepted to come with anything hundred. Thinking that I will win this unofficial note, I came up with a tribute for the dead regardless of how the dead will feel.
Long before now, I am always afraid the dead will strike back when I speaks ill of them. Thanks to PHCN, the Nigerian electric power company, they made my fear real by switching on and off the light without warning. This makes me think every time that the dead are at work and will scare me with the light as I see in scary movies. Right now, the note is on my mind and not the ghost. So here is my short note to the dead.
Hello Dead ones,
You have just set a record of fulfilling the most feared characteristics of a living thing. Something I do not want to do right now. It is only pathetic to know that the CEO skipped reproduction before death.He refused to deposit his gonad hormone into the museum of continuity. CEO, do not be scared, we have a lot of people here who will not waste their talent in reproduction. Be rest assured. Please go to Fela's self-contain and make collaboration with him. The music must enlighten the global dead about our roads and the danger of plying it. Let them know that we, the living youth especially the hustlers among us, are only lucky in getting extra grace from God, if not we will have been there with them.
My Late President, relate with dead Nigerians out there. Grant them amnesty so that they can have a second chance to truly show the global dead that talents waste in the country you once ruled. I know you are not used to taking orders since you became the president in 2007.It is protocol and not you that made that happened and that was evident in the last few days you spent with us here in the land of the living. They transported you from Saudi back home without your orders. They made you take their orders somehow .Please tell your brother and his SDP friend about this.
One other thing I want you to tell them is the utterance of a man who feels he is too old among the living Nigerians. He said the youth have nothing to offer and yet they offer him peace. Can you please in your humble position request him to see you for a cup of tea? Oh...i remember there is one more thing I really want you to hold on to. The people who ordered six thousand policemen to guide a judgment did not find it deem to do the same for you when you came back from Saudi. Maybe they feel the living has more to spend than the sick who believe too much in the rule of law...I wouldn't know.
Make sure you ask Pa T.M Aluko to proof read your speech before delivering your welcome speech. My reason is clear, if you give it to a journalist, he won't elaborate it. He is used to writing in a small limited space and you won't be able to express your annoyance but writers will embelish every thought of yours with suitable figure of speech. He is used to expanding one sentence into a whole book. So take your time and do not bother responding to this note. There is no psychic here that can receive or read that which you will like to say. Just keep it till the day when every man will respond to the trumpet. A day every man will explain their role concerning your death. That day will be sooner or later. On that day, every man will account for himself and Pa Aluko will be glad to have titled a book that will be similar to the title of the day.ONE MAN,ONE DEATH AND ONE JUDGEMENT.
THE SAFE PUNCH
It has been a long time I read Saturday punch.If my friend had not brought it to my house,I guess I wouldn't read it in a longer time.
Way back in school,I developed the habit of going to the vendor's shack to read what my favorite columnists have written about the state of my darling nation.I usually pay a token to read the headlines or sometimes get a copy of the most widely read newspaper in Nigeria.
But not anymore after my graduation from school,I discovered that my likeness for this juicy column had dropped.I thought at first it was my financial power that was controlling my level of addiction.But I was wrong.
Though,I hardly make a dollar a day but I am so sure it is not the reason why I would not read Saturday Punch,which cost almost a dollar both in the bank or my favorite Aboki's bureau de change spot.
My reason is that I am not secured right from the vendor's place,which is usually located at popular junctions and bus-stops.Most times,when I want to read the headline or just buy my paper quietly and go home to have a quiet reading,some little gist that will end up in argument usually filter in.Of course,the effect of this argument is a slight headache which disturb the brain from getting the innermost emotion the writer wants the readers to get.
This keeps me wondering if readers get the same meaning to a particular sentence.If they do,then an argument can be averted and common grounds can be built.After all,that is the reason why we read books or is there something else people read that I do not read in a book?
Bukola Olabikan's Social Etiquette column can help us write out the social etiquette that we should apply when reading or discussing a book.This will reduce to a large extent,the rate at which noise pollution is created at the vendor's shack.If she fails to get the right essay for that,I will have to turn to Dr. Ona Red Alert for tips on buying a Saturday punch with a paracetamol(as a reading relief pill).
Ada Onyema will definitely not see paracetamol as an option for a man who wants to be In Vogue.So also is my Dear Kemi,who will not like to introduce a drug addict on her life partner's column but will admit that Ayo Arowolo's Billionaire Capsule are very essential for everyone who loves to get a Patience Akpan-Obong"s Medal in Elizabeth Badejo's Dream Wedding and Funmi Akingbade's sex and sexuality.
I know Comfort Oseghale's Youngsters will laugh at my style of writing till they forget the Giggle.But I am sure,some won't.They will link my like to MI(Mr. Incredible),who made his most populous single "safe" by mixing almost all the great lyrics available at the time of the release of his single.They will wish I grant Nonye Ben-Nwankwo's Saturday life and Beat interview or be the next topic Adunnibabe will write on next Saturday.
Whichever way,I am ready to absorb all the tips Adekunle Salami's Sport Slam will offer an aspiring columnist like me.Knowing that it is not only in sports that team work is needed.It is also needed in Vincent Akanmode's Weekend Flakes. A Flake that can provide me with a great opportunity that I won't refuse to be a part of.
A flake that will ensure I have a big stomach where my Saturday punch can rest on while I read it safely and quietly.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)